"I used to love the future, and I believed it loved me back. Through my twenties and thirties, I thought that in the future my life would be magically better. It was the balance to my unbalanced life: Of course, I would do all of the things I wasn't doing; I just wouldn't do them now. Because I was working towards (and always through) something, the overwhelming grind of the present wasn't so bad. The future was as powerful as any drug, magnetic and reliably narcotic. There would be children and grandchildren to live out (or, okay maybe reject) my dreams." MORE
The illusions have died . . . replaced by something deeper. The dreams I had lost are born again . . . something old (me) is becoming new.
I'm fifty-four . . . past midlife . . . people generally don't live until they are one hundred and eight . . .
my future is . . .
now . . .
Deo Gratias!
posted by Grandma and Grandpa Benson at
9:53 AM
3 Comments:
God has given me words for this as well. A few months ago I realized how, in my thoughts, I was constantly living in the part or the future. Then I started to feel God speaking to my heart, "The definition of your life is this present moment." Wow. That starkly showed me how I was NOT trusting him with the past and the future and being totally present to NOW.
Thank you for your words!! They are a blessing of companionship.
"The illusions have died "
Was the death painful? And what of the new birth? Is it painful as well? What is this something deeper?
. . . ohhhhh Gloria . . . your questions are very important . . .
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